Customer “service,” may I help you …?

I’m all for companies saving money to improve the bottom line. But there has to be a better way to cut expenses than forcing frustrated customers to call Bangalore, Mumbai or Wherever-the-Heck, India, for help.

Before I rant, a disclaimer: Yes, I know those folks in the call centers are just doing their jobs. I believe they actually want to be helpful and resolve my issues. They’re undoubtedly proud of their work and, to one degree or another, the companies for which they work.

The problem is they’re too detached from the actual problems we consumers face with the products and services they represent (being a couple oceans away and all), and they’re woefully unprepared (not their fault) to analyze problems outside the binder full of scripts on the desk in front of them (“have you tried plugging in the unit? Please plug it in now”). And, of course, there are the language barriers that often result in frustration on all sides as phone reps and customers struggle to understand one another. All that said, teaching Indian nationals to apologize for American companies’ shortcomings does not create a positive customer experience!

So back to my story.

I called customer service to try (for a fifth time) to resolve issues surrounding continued denials of my claims against our health care spending account. In short, the issue is this: We had accrued $2,600 in our HSA and applied it all toward accumulated bills (about $4,000 in all) from a single health care provider. I have submitted receipts on three different occasions, in three different formats (from both the provider and the insurance company); all have been denied. The HSA folks now keep sending me warnings that we need to repay the $2,600.

So I called 1-866-[CENSORED] and connected with an impeccably polite phone service rep, quite obviously located in India. I said I wanted to file an official appeal of the HSA denials and have the overpayment determination overturned. She said she would be happy to help me with that.

But first, she had to ask me three secret questions to help her identify me (birth date, last four of social security number, and home address), and my password – which it turns out I didn’t know. She very nicely explained that she would have to call another department to have them “secure” the call and send me a new password.

I waited several minutes for her to connect the two of us to someone from a third department who would determine that I was, officially, who I said I was. Eventually, another guy (also obviously from India) came on the line and asked me the same three secret questions to help him identify me (birth date, last four of social security number, and home address). Upon hearing my correct answers, he declared the call “secure” and said he would send a password reset link to my company e-mail account.

Do they have unions in India? Do they really need two people to accomplish what we’d just done? Why couldn’t the woman have sent me a password reset link? Why did it require a second person who asked me for the same information she already had? I gave the same answers to both people, but apparently my answers weren’t “official” the first time around. Making it all official took about 10 additional minutes.

Anyway … Upon securing the call so she could talk to me about my request, the original customer service rep thanked the other guy (who cheerfully wished us both a great day and hung up), and informed me she had to transfer me to another department to help with the appeal. Did we really have to “secure the call” so she could transfer me?

She put me on hold and, as you’d expect … [beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep ...] the call was dropped.

So now I’ve got to call back and do it all again. The deadline for appealing these denials is June 30. I’ve still got time to procrastinate, right?

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